Thanks to the Enigma machine in a movie we watched the other day, we have managed to intercept two key transmissions which paint this sorry saga in a new light. It seems we were wrong all the time about Rico ...

Transmission 1, Rico chatting in "German Sex0r chat#6" with Wolfgang Gabbler from CDV.
wolfgang: Herr Rico, I am sehrry vorried about zis GD clan. All ze time zey are taking ze pissen out of our games! Zey sink zat "Hidden Stroking" ist somesink to do viz panzerporn! Und zey have already spammed our glorious Lula 3d forum!
Rico: Yes, wolfie. I have had trouble with them before. Once one even called me a mummy's boy. I was only 5!!!
wolfgang: all zis talk about flame wars. do they not know that I, too, yearn only for peace? und yet zey insist on provoking me. I tell you, ze German Volk can only take so much!
Rico: but they only made a silly post about me being stupid and pompous. surely you can't expect me to ...
wolfgang: ja! I hate zem und all zeir abba rekords!
Rico: Abba records?
wolfgang: Ja, zey have illegally downloaded ze entire Abba back katalog. mein gott, zis could put us all out of business. Take zem out und ban zem!
Rico: but banning them would mean that I would become a figure of fun. like that lord haw haw bloke who worked for the germans and got shot.
wolfgang: ... only because he failed, Herr Rico. I trust zat you are not entertaining defeatest thoughts ... ?
Rico: no no mr Gabbler. I swear it
wolfgang: gut. so ve are agreed on zis matter?
Rico: yes, I will give it my full attention. I'll ask my mum about it right away.

Transmission 2: msn instant messenger chat, with Rico and some bloke from Digital Jesters.
DJ|Bloke: hey Rico, that fucking GDclan are pissing me off
Rico: they are? I thought you were their buddies?
DJ|Bloke: fuck, so did I. but they won't buy our new game about Rommel's sailing boats and now they are saying we got fired from CDV on the frigging forums!
Rico: you didn't get fired?
DJ|Bloke: No, we left. after they took away all the chairs and computers.
Rico: ahh right, you want me to ban them for saying you were fired?
DJ|Bloke: got it in one me old mucker. Just don't say that, make something up. fuck it, you've done shit like that before!
Rico: but won't bannning them for something completely innocuous make me look rather stupid?
DJ|Bloke: we pay you good money to look stupid Rico. just fucking do it!
Rico: ok, but what if they sign back on with multiple accounts?
DJ|Bloke: well, that will give you the excuse to ban them won't it?
Rico: gosh, thats clever. say, are you still coming over next week?
DJ|Bloke: sure am, I wouldn't miss your mother's roast pig jowl for the fucking world!
Rico: thx. gtg! bye!

See our footage of the brutal kidnapping.


Already Whittman is becoming fast friends with some of the life servers.

And these jokers ban US??????
link .