The Von Shtinkel War diaries

Uncovered among the dusty half burnt papers in the fuehrerbunker, these diary extracts are of unprecedented interest to the Sunday Times and disgraced revisionist historians.

10 April
Today the Fuhrer called me to the bunker for a cup of tea and some particularly nice curried bratwurst. The Fuhrer is a genius! The wurst were of top secret design, manufactured by our scientists under the Fuhrer's personal instructions. With offal by-products like these we can not fail!

How I fear for the Fuhrer though, he is deeply troubled and fears a traitor in the high command. Of course, the bourgois generals do not understand the divine destiny of the Clan. If only they knew the fuhrer as I know him!

15 April
It is Fuhrer weather! Even under constant bombardment our glorious Gross Dachshund Division looks to the skies and thanks the fuhrer for a beautful spring day. Dachshund will indeed be great again under the genius of our leader!

Our troops on the eastern front are filled with joy that our fuhrer has condemned them to certain death, safe in the knowledge that their sacrifice has provided material for many books and films in the years to come. In particular I am looking forward to seeing 'Cross of Iron' when it comes out in 40 years time.

20 April
Disaster! an entire corps lost on the eastern front! The Fuhrer was furious and called an urgent meeting in the bunker. "Traitor's! is there not one of you who would not stab me in the back?" he shouted, waving his can of Stella Artois at the audience captivated by his magnetism and genius. The poor fuhrer, do they not know he is the only chance for our people? Without him surely all is lost.

A little later our glorious leader recovered his composure, saying things like "I really love you guys, you're my best mates". The Fuhrer is indeed lucky that Dr Sheister prescribes him Stella Artois, there is little doubt that it is in some way responsible for his divine genius.

25 April
Today I recieved orders to inspect our defences along some river or other the fuhrer pointed to on the map. I am not entirely sure that this is such a good idea, as the river in question is in South Dakota. However, I am a soldier, and so must follow orders.

On the way to the airport, I met my good friend Himmler. Himmler knows well the nature of the Fuhrer's genius, and thankfully has put a stop to my reconnaissance mission. Instead I am to accompany him to his castle and indulge in strange occult rites involving sausages. This also worries me, but I am a soldier and it is my duty to obey.

30 April
Ahh, it is springtime at long last! How the alpine flowers flourish under the benign gaze of our leader! Also, I can now sit down again, which is a relief.